Don Jones

Tech | Career | Musings

I have a good friend who recently joined the police department. He’s made it through academy, and is working with a training officer. He sent me this story:

Had a moment today that I had to share with you. We got a gps alert from a portable generator outside of the Déjà Vu sex shop on Tropicana today so we responded to the possible theft.

We get there and nothing is amiss so my field training officer sends me inside to check with the manager on who owns it. Keep in mind I’m in a full cop uniform walking into a sex shop. That is having a Halloween costume sale, with models wearing costumes.

I walk into the store and the manager says,”your late.”  I say, “sir I’m truly sorry about that, we’ve been a little busy.”  He replies that that is no excuse and he’d be contacting my agency.

He then tells me that my uniform isn’t tight enough and I need to change into something different and his assistant says she likes my authenticity.

At this point a lightbulb goes off in my head and I’m like, “whoa hold ona minute here.”

Manager’s assistant: “No time to be squeamish here kiddo, go and get dressed.”

Me: “ma’am, I’m a police officer.”

Her: I like the commitment, it’s sexy keep it up.”

Me: “No seriously, I’m a real cop.”

Her: “yeah whatever quit wasting time and get that ass into the changing room now.”

Me: “this is a real badge, I’m a real cop and this is a real gun.”

Her: “one more word out of you and you’re fired.”

Eventually I convince them I am real and I’m just there to ask about the portable generator outside. The manger then promptly informs me that it belongs to Metro and cops dropped it off to see if anyone will steal it. He shows me paper work confirming this.

I go to relay this information to my training officer and he can’t stop laughing for the next twenty minutes. FML.

2 thoughts on “Just Had to Share this Funny Cop Story

  1. cynic44 says:

    I think you stole that line from lethal weapon.

    Martin Riggs: . Now that’s a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real f****** gun!

    1. Don Jones says:

      Never actually saw the movie. Still, my friend undoubtedly has and may certainly have used the line for that reason.

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