[Disney] Imagineering Marching Orders

I love little more than Armchair Imagineering. And although I recognize how freaking busy WDI is these days, and how much capital Disney is sinking into their parks worldwide… I have needs.

Let’s begin with Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida. This park’s era as a “working movie studio” is long in its past. Now, it’s becoming a park of movie-themed lands, each with 2-3 attractions, some shops, and some dining: Toy Story Land and Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge. Fine. Rip out the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, Star Tours (yes, rip it out, they’ve another at Disneyland), Backlot Express, and yes, the entire Muppet area they haven’t any idea what to do with anyway. Replace with Indiana Jones: Temple Adventure. Add some shops, a heavily themed restaurant, a minor attraction, and a major attraction (that puts Curse of the Forbidden Eye to shame). At the back of the land, a large Mayan temple that leads to a hotel, where guests check in for a 2-night, 2-day Indy-themed adventure, a la Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser. Take the old Animation Courtyard area, rips our Voyage of the Little Mermaid and Star Wars: Launch Bay, and create a full, immersive Disney Junior land. You see where I’m headed: decently immersive lands based on movie properties. Re-theme Rock’n’Roller Coaster to fit better with the Hollywood Tower next door, maybe ditching Aerosmith for a better Old Hollywood overlay, to complete the thematic consistency here.

Magic Kingdom is fine. I mean, it needs 12 acres of stroller parking, but that isn’t my problem. Oh, and do we really still need Jungle Cruise, with a “real” safari just a short bus ride away at Disney’s Animal Kingdom? That’s a lot of real estate that could go to something much better. Probably stroller parking.

You’re next, Epcot. I love what you’ve got going on: Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, clearly keeping with Epcot’s “Edutainment” mission and teaching us… about… cassette tapes? Whatever. We’ve got the new Space 220 restaurant opening, Mission: Space is still fine Test Track is still fun. Can we talk about the Imagination pavilion? You know, the one made by a company that allegedly is made from imagination? And how people with “Imagine” in their job titles can’t apparently explain imagination to the public? No? Okay… then let’s talk about why we still need an aquarium that hardly anybody visits, because nearly every major city in America has a better aquarium now? Yeah, let’s imagine something else for Future World West real soon.

Also, please build Brazil like you said you would. Thanks.

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